MY SISTER LISTENS TO "RUN RIVER NORTH" FOR THE FIRST TIME
JOSHUA NGUYEN
My sister and I normally do not ride in the same car.
She is comfortable in my silence.
My playlist of Run River North plays at half volume.
I tell her that, John, the drummer, is leaving the band.
Some people are meant to leave, she says. They have no alternative. Our brother left us.
Ya’ll weren’t as close, but he is to me what I am to you. There is a time where your
hero must embark on their own journey to the sky. If you—forever—watch how high
smoke flies, you’ll be engulfed by the sun.
I’ll never hear the sound of someone calling me home
You left too, you know. When you came back, I thought it was for good. Alas,
you will depart as fast as you came. In a few months, you will travel the world on your
own, which is to say, your premonition to die young and alone may come true, and I
will hear of the news late.
I was the beast all alone in my hell!
I was the beast all alone in my hell!
Is it okay to have doubt in a relationship?
Brother, our differences are present, but we both hold our feet against the window.
Remember, your room was once mine, peel the paint and you’ll see. We both are
light sleepers. We both don’t know why our father ordered us those embarrassing
uv-ray-protecting-transitions on our glasses. We both can’t stand to see our mother
cry. Or father angry-drunk. I think you, me, and our brother, follow this idea that we
don’t need anyone to be happy. We can be happy on our own. And knowing this, we
still choose to be with someone, which makes the love we carry more powerful.
So?
I think I’ve changed my mind about a million times
To run or hide
To run or hide
Brother, all I know is this. You are the brightest person I know. Every car on this road
may crash into each other. Every driver here may sink into their car seat, airbags failing and
glass shattering. Every city may not give the answers you need. And every city may murder you
in a different bed with a different knife. But all phoenixes return from migration. And all roads
lead back to home. Whether you are right or wrong or burning, this home will give you shelter to
burn without fear of the wind. And I will use your ashes to spell out the answers you seek on the
driveway, for you to gaze upon from the heavens.
She is comfortable in my silence.
My playlist of Run River North plays at half volume.
I tell her that, John, the drummer, is leaving the band.
Some people are meant to leave, she says. They have no alternative. Our brother left us.
Ya’ll weren’t as close, but he is to me what I am to you. There is a time where your
hero must embark on their own journey to the sky. If you—forever—watch how high
smoke flies, you’ll be engulfed by the sun.
I’ll never hear the sound of someone calling me home
You left too, you know. When you came back, I thought it was for good. Alas,
you will depart as fast as you came. In a few months, you will travel the world on your
own, which is to say, your premonition to die young and alone may come true, and I
will hear of the news late.
I was the beast all alone in my hell!
I was the beast all alone in my hell!
Is it okay to have doubt in a relationship?
Brother, our differences are present, but we both hold our feet against the window.
Remember, your room was once mine, peel the paint and you’ll see. We both are
light sleepers. We both don’t know why our father ordered us those embarrassing
uv-ray-protecting-transitions on our glasses. We both can’t stand to see our mother
cry. Or father angry-drunk. I think you, me, and our brother, follow this idea that we
don’t need anyone to be happy. We can be happy on our own. And knowing this, we
still choose to be with someone, which makes the love we carry more powerful.
So?
I think I’ve changed my mind about a million times
To run or hide
To run or hide
Brother, all I know is this. You are the brightest person I know. Every car on this road
may crash into each other. Every driver here may sink into their car seat, airbags failing and
glass shattering. Every city may not give the answers you need. And every city may murder you
in a different bed with a different knife. But all phoenixes return from migration. And all roads
lead back to home. Whether you are right or wrong or burning, this home will give you shelter to
burn without fear of the wind. And I will use your ashes to spell out the answers you seek on the
driveway, for you to gaze upon from the heavens.
Joshua Nguyen began writing with the Meta-Four Houston Youth Slam Team from 2008-2012 and competed in Brave New Voices. He is an alumnus of the University of Texas at Austin and was part of the UT Spitshine slam team from 2014-2016. He placed #1 in the nation in 2014, won ‘Best Writing as a Team’ in 2015, and was the 2015 CUPSI Haiku Champ. In 2016, he traveled to Washington D.C. as a member of Future Corp to organize the 2016 Brave New Voices International Poetry Festival. He was a featured poet in a commercial for the National Education Association's 'Do You Hear Us?' campaign. He has been published in The Offing, The Acentos Review, Freezeray Poetry, Button Poetry and is forthcoming in Birds Thumb. In 2015, he was part of the Word Around Town Poetry Tour (WAT) in Houston, Texas. He is a tapioca connoisseur and plays an aggressive-tight strategy in poker.